vinegar & salt ((tobias))

The moment Severus had returned to Cokeworth for the summer, he went out and found himself various part-time menial jobs to earn extra cash and not put up with his father's shit. He and Lily were no longer close, and he needed any and all distractions. He was grateful that he had managed to form a few bonds since he began picking up shifts stocking shelves at Tesco. One of which happened to be with a guy around his age who dressed quite odd unlike the rest of their co. workers. Instead of a natural hair color, that co. worker would use marker ink and food coloring to make his hair appear almost kaleidoscopic. They'd spend their smoke breaks together discussing music and whatever else came to mind. He felt immensely drawn to him. Curious. He desired to know more. And that was how he ended up here.

All of the street-lights were out cloaking almost every house in Cokeworth in a sea of darkness. This was a moment that made Severus grateful for the concept of muscle memory; he couldn't risk drawing the attention of the Ministry if he were to improvise and use his wand as a flashlight. He had just returned from a screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and what would be considered his first time. Double whammy. Noticing the door to the house was locked, Severus sighed and proceeded to take apart a nearby window to get back in. If he was quiet enough, he'd be able to act as if he was there almost the whole night.

Too bad his parents weren't that stupid. It was also unfortunate luck for him that the house was too run-down to make sneaking in a breeze.

As soon as he stepped through the living room, a loud creaking in the floorboards echoed through the house. Shit. Severus' face briefly turned blue after an attempt at not breathing too loudly. That wasn't going to work. Clenching his palms and his face, Severus sweated at all of the scenarios he could come up with for what was going to happen. His dad was a ticking time bomb.

@Tobias Snape

On a Friday evening Tobias usually returned from work earlier than usual, took to the bottle and drank himself into a stupor so that he could enjoy a long, interrupted sleep inside of his armchair, as he never usually made it upstairs to bed. Eileen stayed out of his way, he stayed out of hers. Tonight was fairly unusual, however. He had to stay in the factory to do overtime, and didn't return until late evening. A single glass of gin later, and he was retreating upstairs by nine o'clock to pass out without undressing.

He awoke some hours later when it was still dark, and made way to the bathroom to relieve himself. Even in his groggy, half-awake state, he could hear a sound from the lower floor that wasn't quite ordinary. The old house had a lot of creaks and cracks and sloshes from old pipework and fragile walls, but this was different.

At once he came to the conclusion: someone had broken in. Going back to the bedroom, he dislodged an old cricket bat from the bottom of the wardrobe and made his way down the steep, uncarpeted stairs: each step squeaking noisily from his weight.

Batting the wall for the light switch, his thumb flicked it on and at once the living room was bright. His eyes squinted as they slowly became accustomed to its starkness, he gripped the bat tighter around its handle and held it out in front of him to ward off a potential attacker...

But there, standing fully dressed and clearly caught in the act, was his son. "What the blazes do you think you're doing?! What time do you call this?!" He dropped the bat to the floor and kicked it away, storming up to the boy and grabbing his collar. The viciousness of hatred flashed through his eyes as he pulled his collar to meet them. "You think this is some bloody hotel that you can call into whenever you like? Well?! DO YOU?!" As his voice boomed, his eyes popped madly.

@Severus Snape

Why couldn't it have been mum to catch him? She usually just told him to be careful and not disturb dad. No, he had to deal with unpredictability. Who knew how much his dad had drank since he had left for work in the afternoon.

Severus flinched without question when he was dragged by his shirt collar. Urgh. The waterworks were already manifesting as adrenaline ran through his veins. Don't hurt me. Was he born with a bad luck charm embedded in him? Was that why he lived in poverty with the parents he had? Was that why he was tormented since he very first step foot into Hogwarts. "N-no. I-I-I can explain..." Whatever happened, he didn't want to be on the receiving end of it. On the other hand, it was better him than mum as he had ways to defend himself physically.

@Tobias Snape

"Stop blubbering and start explaining! What's the matter with you? How did something so pathetic ever come from me?! Be a man and look at me in the eyes when I'm speaking to you!"

He had both hands at his shirt collar now, and was shaking him violently with each pointed word. There was a sound from upstairs: Eileen had stirred from the noise and was standing somewhere at the bannister on the upper floor. Tobias ignored the thought of her presence in this. When he was done with the boy and went back upstairs, he'd tell her to get back in bed.

"Well?!"

@Severus Snape

Severus couldn't bear to look at his father and witness the rousing fury in his eyes. He couldn't stand looking at his stupid fucking eyes when he drank enough to give everyone within view of him hell.

"I-I was with a... friend. We saw a film together in London after our shifts."

He wouldn't say he had a lot of romantic interest in him, but something about that co. worker intrigued him. The intrigue and rush from the film led to them becoming bedfellows. Ah, this was quite the summer. Severus didn't know if the heatwave was causing him to be impulsive or what.

@Tobias Snape

"London?!" Of all the places... "What're you doing going all the way to London just to see a bloody film? Red Robin is just up the road!" The local pictures - Red Robin - was a fairly small cinema on the outskirts of Cokeworth, but despite being cheap it wasn't the safest place to go. There were a lot of muggings outside there during late nights on weekdays, and the police hadn't bothered doing too much about it. Still, apparently, Tobias would rather his son go there than London.

He released him and pushed him backwards, not being too careful about what he fell into upon release.

"Fetch my cigarettes from the kitchen and bring them back here, would ya? This isn't over."

Tobias collapsed into his armchair and glowered around the living room. He kicked off his work boots that he hadn't removed when going to bed, and stretched out a little. The heat was still stifling. He'd only just noticed the sweat at his brow. "Get me that Scotch as well. And ice."

@Severus Snape

"Red Robin ain't showing the bloody film, da." What a bastard. How the hell did mum fall for him? How did she let him belittle and hurt her to such a degree? It pained him that he really couldn't do a lot about it beyond attempts to disarm him or turn his attention elsewhere.

Once released from his father's grasp, Severus took a deep breath and patted off his trousers once he got up from the ground. It was as if alcohol turned his father into the Hulk. He made his way to the kitchen and rolled his eyes. Grabbing the cigarettes, Severus crossed to the poor excuse of a liquor cabinet and grabbed the scotch. Did their ice dispenser work? Eh. Severus grabbed a bag of frozen peas and threw it at his dad before setting down the cigarettes and scotch. Sometimes he wished he could just smash that watermelon head of his with his bare hands. Give him a taste of his own medicine.

"Can't ya be glad I haven't done cocaine?"

@Tobias Snape

"Sass me again and I'll grab all your poncey school books and chuck them into the factory incinerator," he grumbled, enjoying the idea of that. A few of those books had been hand-me-downs from Eileen as well, he knew that, despite her doing the exchange in secrecy. His wife and child thought he was stupid, and he couldn't stand it. Tobias had said that he could get his books from the library, then when he was old enough to work - pay for the damn things himself. Eileen was soft on him. She always had been.

A cold bag of peas were thrown at him. Tobias was up quicker than a flash, and lashed him against the cheek for that. "I meant ice for the bloody drink, you simpleton!" Cursing him loudly, he grumbled his way to the kitchen and dug out some ice into a fairly clean glass, and stomped back into his chair. "I work sixteen hours a day to keep a fucking roof over both of your heads," he said, pointing his finger threateningly at him, "If you're gonna disrespect me by turning up whenever you bloody feel like it, I'll be kicking you right to the curb. This is my house - my rules."

He lit his cigarette with a match in annoyance, reclinging back into his chair. "If ya want to go to London at the weekends then I couldn't care less. Just make sure you're not strutting in here gone ten o'clock when I'm already in bed! You got that?!"

@Severus Snape

If he were to actually do that, Severus wouldn't hesitate to attempt murder. Those books were his meal ticket away from the dull life of Cokeworth. He didn't want to be stuck working in a damn factory or struggling to maintain proper hygiene.

Severus dropped his jaw and lightly hovered his cheek too stunned to respond. It wasn't the first time he was dealt such a blow, but it never failed to make him stumble. "I didn't know if you wanted ice to cool down, da. Fuck sake." There was going to be a mark left on his cheek, wasn't there? He could predict yet another night of crying himself to sleep, if he was even able to fall asleep in the first place. He loathed being in this house. His body was constantly tense. There was no peace here.

"The film screens at midnight. Cinemas only show it at midnight."

Depending on how well that curfew was going to be enforced, the rest of his summer break was fucked.

@Tobias Snape

"Well then. Now you've seen it, you won't be needing to see it again."

He grinned, grabbing the bottle and pouring some of the liquid into a glass. Scotch was a rare commodity to have around the house, but Tobias had won a raffle at a work event recently. He allowed the ice to settle in there for a few minutes, while nursing the glass.

"I want you home by nine," he decided, watching the whorls of cold ice seeping into the amber. "If you got a later shift, then come straight home. If you're back even five minutes late, you'll be in deep shit." He drank a gulp of the Scotch, and sighed it satisfaction. "Oh that is good."

Tobias eyed him. "We're done here. Get to bed. We'll talk in the morning."

@Severus Snape

He was sixteen, during the hottest summer ever, and his own father was treating him like a child. What the hell? How was he supposed to enjoy his break without Lily's company if he couldn't stay up very late and have fun? Severus was on the verge of tears when he was told to head to bed. If he was lucky, the amount of crying that was building up in him would knock him out for at least a couple hours of sleep.

-----

It was morning, and Severus slept awfully. His brain tortured him with images of Lupin as a werewolf, all the times Lily demeaned him that he willfully ignored, and many replays of what he's witnessed involving his father's hands.

He stood in the living room looking ready to drop dead asleep. If only the day would end already....

@Tobias Snape

Getting through the majority of the bottle the previous night, Tobias had somehow made his way upstairs, got undressed and got some more sleep himself. On waking, he had a cold shower (the water had very short intervals to turn on in an attempt to save on gas bills, but fortunately the hot weather was fine to have cold showers) and dressed, then made his way downstairs. Tea was made, the pot poured and he made some toast to have in his armchair while he listened to the radio.

When he re-entered the living room, however, the boy was standing there.

"Wha'samatter with you? You look like you've had yer eyes scooped out and put back in again." He seemed to be in a better mood today: the little joke was enough to tell of that. He sat down and put his breakfast on the table. "Dunno if you noticed last night - no telly. It kept showing static, so I had Derek next door take it to look at. Might as well put the radio on, though."

It was as if the scene the night before hadn't happened.

@Severus Snape

Severus hadn't looked at himself in the mirror. In fact, he was afraid to. Red, puffy eyes and dark circles on his already fair skin wasn't a good note to start the day on. He observed his father acting a lot nicer than he did hours ago. To say he was perplexed was putting it mildly.

"I didn't sleep too well," he admitted quietly. Although he functioned adequately when sleep deprived, he was too distraught to calibrate the right words to say. What if his dad completely forgot what had happened? He didn't want to reignite the flames that blasted through the house. "Da, last night, you told me there was something you wanted to tell me. What was it?"

His stomach roared, yet he ignored it. Breakfast wasn't the best appetite-stimulant at the moment.

@Tobias Snape

"Sit down and eat then."

He pushed the toast across to him. Tobias lit a cigarette. Although he was hungover, it was something that he had grown accustomed to: just a general state for him in the mornings, and to grind through when he went to work. The weekends, however, were sweet. He had plans to go to The Shepherd and Dog (his preferred local pub) later on with some work mates, but for now he could enjoy some tranquility.

"I had something to tell you? Hng... don't think so." Although he recalled the boy coming back late and telling him off, he couldn't think of anything he had to tell him. "Nancy was callin' for you yesterday. You know - Derek's kid. Well, she's not a kid anymore. Eighteen last week. Maybe it was that."

He smoked his cigarette and sipped his tea.

"Why don't you go out with her?" It was a nice thought. Perhaps his son could do the same thing Eileen did: marry a normal person and start living without all the stupid magic.

@Severus Snape

"Nancy? I don't know, da. She's not my type." Such a comment would only lead to the assumption that he was more into chicks like Lily. A studious, kind girl. The kind of girl who'd save her virginity until marriage.

Severus pursed his lips trying to recall any particular moment in his life that he enjoyed girls in such a manner. There were times he glimpsed at Page 3 girls. Besides being scandalously vulgar, he lacked a physical reaction to their curves. Even when he was a young boy, there weren't any female celebrities he wanted to date or take out or anything. Any of the female celebrities he enjoyed were similar to Streisand or Judy Garland.

His face appeared nauseated before pushing the meaning of the circumstantial evidence to the back of his brain. He was too tired to thoroughly understand.

Not wanting to argue, or remind dad of his fury, Severus sat down and nibbled at the toast. "Where's the butter, da?" His eyes were gradually clearing up from the hours of crying the night before.

@Tobias Snape

“Side next to the sink. Silver dish. The other one broke.”

He got up and turned the radio on, the sat back down again. It was tuned to a local station that was more idle chatter than music, but on a Saturday morning they had an overview of national news. At the moment they were discussing the topic of the heatwave, although it was in a livelier, bantering way that Tobias appreciated. He kept it low enough to talk over, but at a level he could still actively listen to.

“What about Evans’s daughter?” He still had no idea that the girl was a witch. He didn’t know much about her really, only who her family was and that he’d seen her and Severus together sometimes.

@Severus Snape

Nodding, Severus stepped over to the kitchen until he found the butter. Instead of taking the toast with him, he opted to bring the butter out so he wouldn't have to constantly get up for more.

He sat back down and began spreading it onto the toast; at least it'll make the idea of breakfast slightly more appetizing.

"Lily? She and I aren't friends anymore, it'd be quite awkward, y'know."

The most she ever was to him was a sister he never had.

"Still talkin' about the heatwave?"

Severus was mad for wearing a decent amount of dark colors in spite of the blistering temperatures.

@Tobias Snape

"Heatwave? Really? It's the first I've heard of it," he sighed sarcastically, tapping out the remainder of his cigarette and taking up his mug to drink down the rest of the tea. It was almost too hot to drink tea, but he couldn't do without it in the mornings.

"So why're you not friends anymore? Not good enough now you're in crazy school?"

There was a hint of resentment behind what he said, but it was no where near as acidic as he could be surrounding the unordinary topic. The radio presenters shifted from the weather to sports, and Tobias simultaneously engaged with what was being said and the conversation he was having. He was quite good at multitasking in that sense.

@Severus Snape

He sniggered as he finally mustered enough energy to swiftly dig into his toast. It was better than nothing. Of course, Severus had to inherit a penchant for sarcasm and general snarkiness from dad.

"I called her something I shouldn't have... We haven't been friends since almost the end of term."

Severus regretted calling her a mudblood, but he was so resentful of everything that had happened to him. He resented the fact that she didn't do a lot to defend him. He was in denial for a long time about how much their friendship meant to each other. While he'd do anything to get people to stop bugging her, she smiled while he was sexually assaulted in mid-air in front of most of the school. What the fuck was that for?

"She was as crazy as I am," he muttered. Severus was surprised he didn't realize she also did magic. Then again, the two sides of Cokeworth tried to pay as little attention to each other as possible. The Evans were much better off than they were.

@Tobias Snape

Tobias sat in silence proceeding his son's admission to Lily's abnormality. He stewed for a moment and got up off his chair, entered the kitchen and made some toast for himself. He would prefer if he kept his friendships closer to home, so there was a silver lining in that at least. Severus still seemed to be interested in normal things: going to the pictures, listening to music, that sort of thing. Perhaps there was still some hope for him.

Eileen called it muggle-born, and that's what Lily must have been: a witch born to ordinary parents.

Returning to the living room with an entire stack of toast for the both of them, Tobias returned to the topic they'd been discussing. "Calling her something you shouldn't have couldn't have come from no where if you were friends." It was his attempt to get a better idea of what happened.

@Severus Snape

For a while, he sat in silence with the exception of the blabbering radio hosts. When were they going to play some music? Severus would even put up with Bay City Rollers to have something other than two conversations occurring simultaneously. At the sight of a toast tower, he perked up and grabbed one.

"Well, she's a prefect at school. And, uh, there was an incident after the you know..."

Attempted murder wasn't enough. He had to be sexually humiliated in front of many of his peers. It was miraculous that it didn't turn him away from sex altogether. All it did was ruin the one long term relationship he had and increase his paranoia within Hogwarts' corridors. It was too bad Mulciber or any of their friends weren't there to do a thing about it. Of course, they had their own concerns to deal with at the time.

"She didn't do anything about it."

All those years of friendship were thrown away in an instant. It didn't matter how hard he tried to apologize, she didn't want to hear any of it nor did she believe him.

"She defended them trying to kill me. She acted as if it was some huge misunderstanding!"

It didn't help that at the time, he was too worked up to be totally coherent.

@Tobias Snape

"Ah, bullies. Y'know its hard to imagine Mickey Mouse wearing his starry hat and making the mops dance while having somethin' as real as bullies entering the picture." That was how Tobias perceived the magical world: like in Fantasia or The Sword and the Stone where there was a lot of whimsical characters and no real world issues to contend with. He realised that they must have had some kind of society, of course, but he hadn't exactly bombarded his wife with questions, nor was he at all curious about it. "So they roughed you up a lot then?"

There was something like sympathy in his voice and the way he looked. Although he was a bully himself sometimes, he didn't like the thought of obnoxious toerags pushing his son around for no reason. Especially when they were supposed to be from the same breed.

"I had a bully at Thurston's," he explained, meaning the orphanage where he spent eleven years of his life, "Chapman was his name. He used to barricade me in the outhouse after he was tired of dislocating my jaw." Tobias lit another cigarette. "What did yours do?"

@Severus Snape

Severus glanced down at the table trying to not listen too attentively to the Disney comparisons. Although thinking it as being rather childish was preferable to starting another witch trial, he wasn't fond of wizarding society being dismissed. "Roughed me up would be the least of it."

How bloody nice it'd be if all they did was rough him up. "They torture the entire schoil, yet Dumbledore and everyone else kisses their ass. Why? Because they're goddamn Gryffindors. At least my housemates admit to being awful. My bullies think they're doing the school a favor all because I'm poor."

There were a lot of issues he had with Hogwarts; he had spent years fantasizing about it being better than Cokeworth only for it to not be the safe place he always envisioned.

"Lifted me mid-air, stripped me to my pants, and put soap in my mouth," Severus sniffled as the waterworks began activating yer again. "All they got was a slap on the wrist. Dumbledore should consider himself luh-lucky that we haven't reported him to the Ministry for housing a werewolf."

@Tobias Snape

"Ey. C'mon. Stop the tears."

It wasn't like the way he'd barked at him last night. His voice was low, almost gentle. There were a lot of things he didn't like about what he said and some parts he didn't entirely understand, but he got the gist of it. Their worlds seemed exactly the same: bullies, teachers who turned a blind eye to it, adults being incompetant enough to put children in the way of danger.

"Yer too much of a smart arse not to get back at them. Give them what they deserve. I won't be angry at you for stickin' up for yourself." Werewolves, he thought. What - the - hell. "I'll write to this... Dumbledore. I'm supposin' he doesn't have an active telephone line..." The idea was quite laughable. "But I'm not sayin' you can rely on him, by any means. Headmasters - teachers - they all have their favourites. I'll just make it clear to him that I'm aware of it."

He looked at his son crying over his toast, and frowned slightly.

"You know you can always... give it up. Come home." It was a complete stab in the dark, as he was certain the boy was not intending to give up his magic. Although Tobias often fought with his son and wife that he was doing the best he could - it still wasn't a great life. Fractionally better than the childhood he had. He should want better for his child. He knew that.

@Severus Snape

Despite still being confused by his father's complete 180 since the previous night, Severus savored the rare moment of tenderness and care that was being extended to him. It reminded him of the vague memories of the years before his magic became too apparent to ignore.

"I've tried in the past, but I always wind up punished. I-I don't understand it. I care about my academics. I do well in school, but that's all thrown out the window the minute I try to get payback!"

His eyes were erupting like miniature geysers at the mere thought of the treatment he gets. "They taunt me for wearing clothes from the charity shops and hand-me-downs. Most of the school dislikes me for one reason or another. I-I don't know why. My friend, Mulciber," he perked noticeably just briefly mentioning him, "Gets sadistic, but I don't go out of my way to hurt people. I can't fathom doing what they've done to me to somebody else... It's the lowest of lows "

Some of his tears were beginning to dampen his share of toast; he was like a wind-up doll that cried when provoked enough. Usually, all Severus needed to get so emotional was to just think about his life.

"I don't want to be stuck in Cokeworth... That school is my only way out. How would I get a scholarship elsewhere at my age? I haven't had a regular education in years!"

@Tobias Snape